Family Trouble Much?

SO no matter what we do as parents our children will become the persons who they are meant to be. This is predetermined. We are bound by our genetic makeup. At least this is what I have concluded based on discussions with dear friends.


The first of one such conversation began as my best friend explained to me that her second child is something like the devil and her first child is all that anyone could imagine in an angel. Vehemently explaining that she pours the same love and discipline into both children, she cannot understand what makes them so different. The children are four years old and two years old, a girl and a boy respectively. And while many may chalk up the differences to stages of development or sex, their mother begs to differ. With too many examples to repeat, she exclaims that both children have similar genetic make-up (same mom and dad) but how they use the gifts that they were blessed with is completely up to the inner workings of their mind (which again is genetic to a point).

My next exchange occurred with a friend who has much older children but expresses the same frustrations. Admittedly, she reflects on a time when she was apart of the snob mob. You know them. The mothers who snub their noses at your response to your child’s wanton disrespect and make comments like, ‘that couldn’t be me’ and ‘my child would never’. Now…she finds herself becoming the mother that she once rolled her eyes at the thought of becoming.

Still, I'm afraid to concede defeat so soon in my child's life. Maybe I'll wakeup when she's 18 and I'm battered and bruised from this abusive relationship that we call parenthood and realize all that I have done has been in vain or maybe I'll wakeup and I've raised a brilliant doctor. While I know that there are many variations to both outcomes, the outcome will still either be good or bad and I've come to terms with my 50/50 chances.

What do you think? Are our children ours to mold? Or, are our children there just to feed and cloth? How much does laying a foundation curb the ill effects of their own freewill?