In an effort to make this inaugural week interesting and to gain readership and responses I have decided to post a message everyday this week. Now this won't be the norm because Lord knows I juggle way too much to remember to post my feelings everyday but I will try to do the best I can. So today I thought I would start with a section that I plan to make a recurring theme of sorts. This section will be entitled: My Friend Wants to Know. Anonymity is the point! So I will pose a question, post my answer and hope for responses still the beauty of the whole thing is no one really knows if its an issue that I am dealing with or if "my friend" truly exist.
The funny thing about the previous post and the responses I got was the fact that I never mentioned if my friend was a man or a woman but the assumption was that my friend was a man. Tsk, Tsk! I won't address this further than saying "It's All Just a Big Misunderstanding"!
So, my friend wants to know is flirting considered cheating? Now before you tackle this with your preconceived notions of what cheating is I challenge you to consider this scenario and then form an opinion. I will use I in the general sense...not that this is my situation but you will understand the story better. So I have an ex-boyfriend who is a very good "friend" we have shared some of our most intimate moments together and although nothing sexual has occurred recently I still share some of my most intimate thoughts with him. He is very insightful and I value his opinion. We were friends before we were lovers and even though I have not told my significant other about the friendship I have with him I have never lied about it either. When asked about the extent of our friendship now I simply say, "we still talk". Now my current and my former have never met and I don't plan on introducing them. Every now and again the conversation with my ex drifts into "dangerous territory" but it's just conversation, right?
The flirting is okay over the phone but if we ever saw each other in person would I have to make good on my "talk" or would we both cower in the face of temptation. The funny thing is neither one of us talks about our relationships in detail when we converse but we both have situations. He knows my likes and dislikes better than my significant other so when something happens that he knows I am especially tunned into he will text message me little things to make me smile. Still, he can not take the place of my significant other in so many other ways but the blank spaces that he fills is what makes him so special. So am I cheating? Is this conversation fetish that I have with my ex considered crossing the line of respect in my relationship? If my significant other does not know my ex can he rightfully be considered a "friend" or is he just someone I screwed and now I have good conversation with? Could I invest the effort into my relationship and have the same connection with my man? Is it important to keep "friends" for my sanity? My friend wants to know.
6 comments:
I am starting to feel like your blog muse. Giving you inspiration (along with others).
It's so funny that you think it is about you! I will never tell who is the inspiration for this story.
Well "friend", my input is simply....the 80/20 rule. WDIGM introduced the logistics and it makes sense right? Your friend is obviously lacking something and this conversation evidently fills this void. But remember, it's only fufilling 20%. Let's be real, it's cheating if you have to hide it!
IT SIMPLY...... EMOTIONAL CHEATING....The bottom-line is that emotional cheating is difficult to define since the actions are not as blatantly obvious as with physical cheating. Emotional cheating is when a couple are in a relationship and a third person has a strong emotional bond with one of them. "You do to others as you want them to do to you". I would never want my SO(signicant other) to communicate with his EX. I honestly think that what he is giving her something(communication) its taking away from me. Which I know that she would never have him because she is the 20% but its the fact that he has an stronger connection with her, far as communicating then ME. So YES its cheating. Anthing that you have to hide, it is not right.
Wow! It certainly is cheating! If you cant hae them both in a room at the same time, or talk on the phone with the other around, r you are not willing to introduce him to your better half it is cheating. It is kind of like having a "d!@# in a glass case" He would be ready to catch you at a weak moment and at a blink of an eye it could go way....to far. If the significant other is marriage material start thinking of the vows that will be taken..."foresaking all others" this does include your ex. Plus it may be a little betrayal in there as well. Someone may be skating on thin ice. Be careful this is how we hurt the ones we love.
Post a Comment